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 Another one from the archive I couldn't resist

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Gary

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Another one from the archive I couldn't resist - Thursday, August 13, 2015 4:55 PM ( #1 )
This is from internet....    From A Mother With Love  Dear Child,  I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.   We don't live where we did when you left home.   Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.   I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.   This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.   Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.  The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.  We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.   Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.  Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.   Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.   There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.  PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.  
Sturgeon's Law  "90% of everything is Crap" 
 
 Real heroes don't wear capes, they wear dog tags. 

 
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. -Benjamin Franklin 
 
Imhoff's Law:
 The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank ... the really big chunks always rise to the top.
   
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference 


In March of 1953 there were 53 kilobytes of random access memory on planet earth.  Thirty years later my first computer had 64K of RAM

I like my guns the way Obama likes his voters...Undocumented


Rowan McDirk

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Re:Another one from the archive I couldn't resist - Friday, August 14, 2015 12:06 AM ( #2 )
very good!
Fortuna Favet Menti Paratae

Take time to sharpen your steel, for he who whets his steel whets his courage
Gary

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Re:Another one from the archive I couldn't resist - Friday, August 14, 2015 6:48 PM ( #3 )
It makes me think of Gracie Allen the way it's so logical/insane.  George Burns got most of the credit but Gracie actually wrote most of the lines and was a real comic genius.  George was the perfect straight man though.  I didn't get the humor when I was a kid but now I love it.  I feel soryy for those too young to know just how funny they were.  
Laurel and Hardy was the same way,  Stanley wrote all the sticks and Oliver was the all time perfect straight man.  There will -never- be anyone funnier than those two.  
Sturgeon's Law  "90% of everything is Crap" 
 
 Real heroes don't wear capes, they wear dog tags. 

 
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. -Benjamin Franklin 
 
Imhoff's Law:
 The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank ... the really big chunks always rise to the top.
   
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference 


In March of 1953 there were 53 kilobytes of random access memory on planet earth.  Thirty years later my first computer had 64K of RAM

I like my guns the way Obama likes his voters...Undocumented



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