Exquisite British Humour

  The train was quite crowded and a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat,

But the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular,

'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'


The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.

'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired .......'

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog,

tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour!

'This American should be put in his place!'


An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up:

'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.

'You hold the fork in the wrong hand.

'You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road.

'And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window!'

I love it.  

survivor2


  The train was quite crowded and a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat,

But the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular,

'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'


The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.

'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired .......'

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog,

tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour!

'This American should be put in his place!'


An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up:

'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.

'You hold the fork in the wrong hand.

'You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road.

'And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window!'

Sturgeon's Law  "90% of everything is Crap"

Real heroes don't wear capes, they wear dog tags.  

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. -Benjamin Franklin

Imhoff's Law:
 The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank ... the really big chunks always rise to the top. 


God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” 

 "A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."